I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Success! We fucked roommates!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
