Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
