im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
