he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
