Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Randomize
