when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The power of my boobs compel you
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize