no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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