Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
