Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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