Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I need to sanitize my soul.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize