and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
