I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
