Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize