school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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