I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
