69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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