Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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