I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
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