There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
