Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize