my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
