Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
