He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
