God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
