She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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