At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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