you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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