dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
