hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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