until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We left an ass print on the piano.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
