we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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