We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
