I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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