I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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