We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
