My girlfriend figured out who you are.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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