I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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