your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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