That's when you crack a 10am beer
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i've created a new STD.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
