Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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