dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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