Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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