please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
