Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize