Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
