she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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