I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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