All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
