When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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