okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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