found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
