She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
