I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
