the condom got lost in my hair
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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