ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
