If that was your dad, he is hot
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize