HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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