these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
