my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Let's get the cat blown out
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
