hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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