she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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