in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
