nut hugger
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
