trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
this will be a night to untag.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
