I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
