Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
