I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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