Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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