But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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