Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
