I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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