i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
