we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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