I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
