nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
