but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
